The Right Man

Every life is unique. Every person has a different story. Whether facing challenges together or alone, standing tall and stating your ground is proof of determination. Maxx Rathman is no exception. 

After having the adoption planned, Rathman was adopted two days after his birth. “My mother was already planning to put me up for adoption. [She] put me up for adoption because she wanted me to have a better life,” said Rathman, “because otherwise she was going to be a single mom and I probably would’ve been at a daycare for most of my childhood and she would have a hard time supporting me. So I guess I was adopted at two days old. I do not put my mother at fault for [my] adoption.”

Going through the adoption process can be troubling, and can lead to confusion and problems, all of which, can be resolved with determination and readiness. Rathman said that difficulties that he’s faced included inappropriate personal questions which Rathman brushes off. “Those people don’t have business of knowing who I am, and it really doesn’t matter what they think. 

“My [adoptive] mother has talked a lot of how she’s kept in touch with my birth mother, and they write letters to each other. And she’s even said how through the program that I’ve been adopted through, that I could be able to meet her once I turn 18,” said Rathman. “I guess it’s a unique story. Essentially since I was adopted [at] two days instead of being put in an orphanage, and then adopted later in life. And also, since my [adopted] parents and I are different races. It’s also something that most adoptions don’t have,” he said. 

People want to ‘give back’ after being given a chance or an opportunity. “If I ever were to have a kid, I would probably adopt,” said Rathman. “Even if your child isn’t your biological child, I still think that it’s your child. Even if he went through the adoptive process, I feel like you could give an adoptive kid a chance at a family, and at a good life.” 

And not only adopting, but also fostering can bring a newfound sense of joy. “It’s very satisfying,” said Mrs. Jennifer Wilcox who has helped several children in the past be adopted. “It’s very thrilling to watch a child be adopted. To be able to go to a courthouse and watch a child be adopted and get new parents is a very emotional experience. These parents are going to give these children opportunities that they might not have had in their previous homes.”

 Although faced with adversity, there is not a shortage of advice. “Don’t let the fact that you’re adopted mean that you’re a lesser person,” said Rathman. “You’re still a great person. Even if you’re put up for adoption doesn’t mean that has anything due to you. And I’m sure that your birth parents probably had their reasons. You don’t really need to dwell on that. You should look where you are now. You might be in a different family than your birth family, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t form a family out of that.”

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